Why Some Good Habits Just Don’t Stick (and That’s Okay)

This morning, I woke up to go work out and then remembered that my husband has been traveling for work and hasn’t slept much. If I leave the house, my dog will hop on top of him and wake him up. So I decided I needed to stay home, but I really wanted to exercise to release some energy.

There’s a stationary bike that sits in my spare bedroom that, of course, rarely gets used. I got a burst of inspiration and decided, “Okay, I'm going to do the stationary bike, a little kettlebells, and maybe some yoga.”

All of these things are available to me in my house at any time, so I had a brief thought: “Wait, I could do this every morning!” But then another thought followed: “Jen, you know yourself. You don’t enjoy doing this alone in your bedroom. You enjoy going and working out with people. That’s why you only work out at the gym.”

I could be hard on myself and say, “Since you can do this at home today, you should be doing this all the time.” But I know myself well enough to recognize that this is not my reality. That’s not why I work out. It feels like torture and reminds me of all the times in the past when I had to exercise as part of a weight loss program. I DON’T ENJOY IT, and historically, I end up rebelling.

Knowing myself well enough gave me the ability to say, “You know what? Do it today. It’s great. Don’t expect to do it tomorrow. And don’t write down what you’re doing so you can expect yourself to do it again. Be in the moment, with the movement of your body, the awesome music you rarely listen to, and the endorphin rush. Allow yourself to enjoy the moment!”

I think it’s funny that we can make exceptions for things like, “Oh, I'm just going to have a drink tonight” and only have it on the weekend, or “I’m just going to go out and eat ice cream” but know you’re not going out for ice cream every night. It’s so interesting to me that we can think this way when it comes to habits we believe we shouldn’t have, but when it comes to habits we think we should have, we expect to maintain them all the time.

What if we accepted that some things, even good things, are rare because they don’t work for us? And what if we allowed ourselves to embrace the things that do?

I’d love to hear how this lands, if it brings anything up for you, if it gives you any new ideas or little ‘ahas.’ For me, there was a lot of lightness in knowing that I can enjoy this today, without expectations.