Therapy or Coaching?

I once heard someone describe coaching and therapy in a very interesting way.  Imagine you are stuck in a hole.  Therapy focuses on what got you into the hole and what is keeping you there.  Coaching focuses on getting you out of the hole.

As a coach I am not trained to analyze and diagnose you or treat mental health issues or provide techniques that heal trauma.  As a coach, I am trained to listen carefully and deeply, to shine a light on significant areas I am seeing are keeping you stuck, to ask you questions to get you to pause and think and gain insight, and to use all of this thought and insight to guide you forward.  The coaching I do is based in mindfulness (kind, non-judgmental awareness), self compassion, mind-body psychology, and the neuroscience of behavior change.  

Coaching and therapy both have their places in the realm of mental, emotional, and spiritual wellness.  I have done both, as have many of my clients.  

For me, I found coaching when I was at a personal low point.  At the time, I thought the only options for improvement were therapy or medication.  I had done both in the past, but knew I was at a place where I didn’t want to go digging into my past.  I just wanted to feel better about being myself and in my daily life.  Finding coaching opened up a third option for me.  It helped me to finally quiet some of the monsters in my head and to feel confident and calm.  It was a huge relief and changed how I lived my daily life and interacted with everyone around me.

A few years later, after working with my coach, I actually went to therapy.  The difference was, I was in a personally good place and I knew exactly what issues I was going to therapy to address.  I remember telling my therapist, “I’m really good!  I’m not anxious or depressed.  I actually really like my life.  I just have this thing from the past that is creeping up and I’d like to address it.”  This is the story I’ve seen with some of my clients also.  They may have some big stuff from their past, but they are able to get to a good place within themselves and their lives with coaching anyway.  After they do, they may decide to go to a therapist to deal with their larger past issues, but they do so from a healthier, happier place.  

I have no desire to replace therapists.  They have a completely different base of knowledge and skill set than I do. They are extremely valuable and necessary in the world.  My only hope is that more people will realize they have a third option.